Yeah I've left you for myspace. His popularity was enticing, but it was no you. I started school again today. It excites the nerd in me. I'm terrified of my journalism class. Deathly. It would break my heart to find out that I'm terrible at it. The fact that I've never done any sort of journalism worries me too. I guess I want it more than I thought I did. I guess because if it doesn't work out, my entire plans are soiled. I probably should've taken that egg/basket thing to heart. Lately, Troy has gotten on my nerves. At the same time, it agonizes me to see him the way he is now. Especially to know that it was my doing. Or at least my presence in his life made him this way. But my patience isn't what it used to be; my free time being so little, I prefer not to waste it. It's not that he's wasting my time, but our disagreements we have no time to resolve. Frustrating. It's just sometimes, I don't like to feel controlled. Or at all. Other than that, I hope work and school don't collide. I hope despite our opposite schedules, Troy and I will have time together. And inbetween time with friends. Who have had the privilege of not seeing me. Oh yeah, I hope I can get some sleep. It seems insomnia crawled into bed with me.
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mizkrista_izda_BOMB
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Name: they call me ka-ka-korean
Country: United States
State: Ohio
Metro: Huber Heights
Gender: Female
Interests: i like bein a loser....cuz thas what the cool kids these days....derrr
Expertise: I do some badass moves out on the dance floor....
....i kick butt out playin paintball.....
......and every now and then i work for the CIA.
o yeh..if you havent noticed...i make up stories....lol.
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM: 
asianxsmartxass
Member Since:
8/8/2002
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re-hello xanga
sometimes
when i go outside my little bubble.....
...i get severely depressed.
i guess i like to make jokes...no matter how gay or cheesy...because if it didnt happen...i'd be lost. and go crazy.
what happened to all the red roses and mother may i's.
when did i start thinking tooo much?since its been about an eon.
Take me, is written all over her actions.
But her words whispers repeatedly Dont.
Because is never followed by a single sane reason
There are plenty of sins she has yet to atone.
She shows her nature in all its bare glory
Her obscenity masked in so called innocence.
Men fall at her feet and thicken the story
and worsen her guilt at her newest offense.
Her nature betrays her goals and conditions
Her wishes fail to meet reality
Locked in a song where hearts must be broken.
Nothing can be done but to see. oh the irony.
im tired of wanting more....to wanting nothing less.
i'm tired of being blissfully happy to bawling with tears.
i'm tired of being in control to losing it completely.
i'm tired of being awake to being narcoleptic.
i'm tired of planning but never following through.
i'm tired of trying hard and not getting anything in return.
i'm tired of being on the edge and in the middle of everything.life is difficult. it can suck my dick.
theres always a time in your life when you're forced to make hard decisions.
i hate them.
like for instance, picking between:
a) choosing the option that will better yourself, while making the other party involved unhappy.
b) making the other person happy, and sacrifice the "better yourself" opportunity.
c) on rare occasions, theres the comprimise....but usually...its not there...or good enough
so what do you do. its such a hard choice.
its something i keep going back and forth on.
i wanna be a journalist....but at the same time...i dont wanna be stuck with dayton daily news.
but....idk if i can leave troy behind. leave him to go to college.
ESPECIALLY...cuz i want a future with him too. and i dont think its naive to say that we can have one.
i want the apartment with him. i want that. but i dont wanna kill my parents with college tuition. when i can go to a better school...as far as journalism...for more than half the price.
gerr.
it really comes down to sacrificing education opportunity, or sacrificing troy.
i wish i could have both.
but if i'm ever sure about going to ou.....than i have to end things with troy....cuz i cant bear..
you know aht...ic ant even finish that sentence. the thought of leaving him....breaks my heart. because i cant. i really truly cant. even if i know its probably better for me. i cant leave him.
deep down...i know that leaving him is wrong. for sure.
but i'm not sure if staying here is right.
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